All the good cars are gone. Seemingly forever.

Can we talk about cars for a second?

I am going to have to get a different car soon, and I’m very sad about it.

And it isn’t because I love my car. In fact, nothing about my car is “me”. I didn’t even pick it really.

I drive a 2000 Lexus RX with 181,000 miles on it.

Why? Because during the pandemic, I decided to sell my manual transmission 2001 Subaru Outback (for a profit which is insane). I was tired of the manual transmission. I know, I know… how could I? Well, I have kids and sometimes, the manual transmission was annoying. I guess I thought I needed my coffee more than a stick shift.

I was probably a bit shortsighted, but it doesn’t really matter. My husband’s uncle had moved to NZ and needed to sell his Lexus. The timing was right and it was a cheap, easy, hassle-free decision. He had bought it new and cared for it well… So I bought it and sold my old Subi.

But the miles are getting up there, the seats are starting to crack and expose the foam, and I get a bit nervous on long rural drives and drives to the city.

My husband asked, “If you could buy any car you want, what would you want to buy?”

Well, I’ve been looking and- I think I’m fucked! ( Although buying whatever I want isn’t even in my current reality, so this exercise is totally hypothetical.)

In my dreams, I’d own a classic car or even an 80s car. Something fun and zippy. Maybe even a Porche from the year I was born (1985). Or something where the top comes down, or a T top. Fun. Interesting. Attractive. With knobs and buttons.

Then, I’d also have a Toyota Prius for my normal driving, specifically Trim 4 for the heated seats; years 2013-2015.

But having two cars isn’t very practical for me. And a Toyota Prius isn’t that exciting on its own. I just like the efficiency and reliability.

But now, here’s my problem. (you tech lovers are going to think I’m nuts)

I hate the tech in new vehicles.

And I don’t want a giant screen replacing my beloved knobs and buttons.

What I would like is to have a bluetooth connection, a simple Am/FM radio, a charging port, air conditioning, and heated seats. (operated by knobs and buttons, of course)

With heated seats, you don’t even really need to run the forced air heat. I love heated seats.

As far as features go, that’s it!

But no.

Car companies would rather pack a million unneeded and unwanted shitty, soon-to-be-obsolete features into their little boxes.

Just like our smart phones have corroded our memories, our cars will slowly corrode our driving abilities.

fuck. that.

And now I hear they’re gonna put features like heated seats under a new subscription model.

What the fuck is going on here? ??????? ?????

Does anyone wanna start a new car company where, you know, the cars are a pleasure to drive? And they’re simple, repairable…. and *gasp* colorful ?

If so, I’d love to help and I’d happily support your venture.

But I’m gonna take a wild guess here- I’m probably the minority.

(where are all the people like me? Where are yoooooouuuuuuu?)

Anyway, I guess for my next car I’ll search for a practical yet boring 2013-2015 low-mile prius with heated seats (that I can use).

By the way, for any of you lawyers reading (doubtful), do you know if forcing me to purchase a subscription to use a feature in my vehicle that I purchased could constitute as an illegal tie-in? Please, please, please for the love of God- anything to stop this insanity and greed.

Just to be clear- this isn’t even about the money (this is hypothetical, remember).

Even if I had all the money in the world… the car that makes me grin ear-to-ear… well, they don’t make them anymore. How very sad.

Thanks for reading,

HouseRat Zero

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